Butterfinger Crime

One of the “Deal” sites that I subscribe to the RSS Feed (The Bargainist), had this deal this morning:


Despite being April Fool’s Day, chance for a free candy bar, is something I am all over. So I went to the Nestle page to request my coupon for said Sans Gratis Candy Bar. Along with the marketing ploy to get information entry form, there was a contest to win free crap good stuff:

  • Apple® iPhone™ 3GS**
  • Console Game
  • $300 Electronics gift card
  • 1-year supply of BUTTERFINGER® bars

All you had to do was submit a story (600 characters or less) on how someone laid a finger on your Butterfinger. How could I resist?

Here’s the verbose first version of my story, weighing in at 1163 characters.

Don’t mess with my Butterfinger or you might end up like Johnny 4-Fingers. Now he wasn’t always called “Johnny 4-Fingers”, he was born with all 5 digits on his right hand but his desire for my chocolate delicacy clouded his better judgment.
Having opened my Butterfinger, it wasn’t long before the smells of “peanut-buttery” euphoria filled the room. Johnny, a known chocoholic, thought he would acquire my candy bar.
He schemed a fake emergency in the kitchen. Responding to the commotion, I left my Butterfinger unsecured on the table. In my absence, he made his move. However, when Chocolate is on the line, you don’t mess with me.
In the time for him to reach the table and lay his former finger on MY Butterfinger, I unsheathed my samurai sword and separated Johnny and his finger forever.
While Johnny was screaming in agony and the Ambulance (and police) were in route, I sat down and enjoyed my Butterfinger.
While waiting trial, I am counting on winning the 1-year supply of Butterfingers so my charges can be dropped. The judge is a huge fan of said candy bar. Hopefully Johnny 4-Fingers has learned his lesson, I would hate for him to earn a new nickname.

But with it being slightly over the limit, I had to trim down my story and cut corners where I could to get it under the weight limit.

Don’t touch my Butterfinger or end up like Johnny 4-Fingers. He wasn’t always Johnny 4-Fingers, but his chocoholic nature got the better of him.
After opening my Butterfinger, the smell of peanut-buttery euphoria clouded his judgment and he schemed an emergency outside. Responding to the call, I left my Butterfinger on the table. Sensing tomfoolery, I rushed back inside and with my knife separated Johnny and his finger.
Hopefully Johnny 4-Fingers learned his lesson, hate for him to earn a new nickname. I hear the judge in my case loves Butterfingers, perhaps I could share the winnings.

However, when I submitted the story the first time an error occurred and going back to the form, all my information was GONE. Luckily, I knew that I was going to write this post and had copied and pasted it to my text editor. I entered in my information again and hit submit. Same result, error. I tried a third time and got a different error, but I am not sure if my request for a free Butterfinger OR my story submission made it. Oh well… you get what you pay for… stoopid internets


About planet3rry

Marathoner, A Terry of all trades
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