I hope this is a 10lb Ham

For our New Year’s celebration we were going over to a couple’s house that we think are pretty cool and our Elder sons are best friends, even despite the fact that The Elder has bitten him (in the past) repeatedly. Go figure, I guess kids are more forgiving than adults. The plan was for us to bring over a Ham and a dessert. Through our food service, we get a spiral cut ham each time we order just for occasions like this. Now, I had pulled it out to defrost it, but I still needed to warm it up and consequently needed the weight for cooking purposes.

I picked the Ham up and couldn’t tell how much it weighed. So I broke out our hi-tech kitchen scale but that only goes to 5lbs and I got an ERR on the screen. Next stop: Bathroom. Now, I do some pretty weird things, but when I was talking with My Lovely and Talented Wife and carried the ham back to the bedroom, she seemed a little taken back. What in the world was I doing with a Ham in the bedroom. We’ll leave the “Meat in the bedroom” jokes for pervs, but I went to bathroom to use our High Powered Scale. I explained that I needed to know the weight so that I would know how long to warm it up.

So, I step on the scale (with the ham) and it reads 178.8.

“I hope this is a 10lb ham,” I exclaimed.

Not wanting to do recreational math, I put the ham directly on the scale and it read 8.8lbs. So now I knew that I needed to heat it up for about an hour and 20 minutes. But my word, that meant that I was pushing 170lbs!

As I was thinking about this post running yesterday, I fully expected that I would get some “170! You think that 170 is heavy… come on skinny bastard! GET REAL” And I don’t think that I am fat, but I am not as skinny as I was just a month ago when I was 162lbs. Basically, I put on 2lbs a week for the last 4 weeks and most of that was with eating that crack fudge over Christmas.

Socially speaking, I am not overweight. I have a fairly athletic body, and apart from having a bird chest and some love handles on the side, I am pretty comfortable with my weight.

If you ask the Government (WE ARE HERE TO HELP), I am officially overweight. With a BMI of ~25.5, I am in the “overweight” category. I wonder if there is some government assistance I can get because of my BMI, maybe there is some Government mandated Speed that they can give me for “Medicinal Purposes Only” (wink wink nudge nudge).

Another thing that I thought of while I contemplating my weight yesterday was the “Fat Boy/Girl” award that are sometimes given out at races. Someone thought, “lets help the overweight people get an award” and created the Clydesdale or Hercules/Athena Division. And I totally agree that people who carry some extra (or a lot) of weight around should be awarded for their effort. I should calculate the energy output of a 140lb runner running 3.1 miles in 14 minutes as opposed to a 250lb runner running 3.1miles in 35 minutes. But that’s for another post…

Well, in these divisions, I have seen 6’2″ guys who are legitimately over 200lbs run a 5k in 20 minutes and get the award. Although they meet the qualification, I don’t think they meet the spirit of the division. If the Goliath Division was organized by BMI and I was in the Overweight division, which I qualify for based on Government Standards, how fair would it be for me to run a 5k in 24 minutes… or how about Barry Sanders (former NFL great running back) who was 5’8″ (same as me) and 185lbs… he’s even MORE overweight than I am and (much)10 faster.

So, I have put on some winter weight, that I need to eventually take off at some point. Now that the baking and holidays are over, it should be too hard. Well, except that I have seen those delicacies for which I so crave… I have seen EASTER CANDY!


About planet3rry

Marathoner, A Terry of all trades
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0 Responses to I hope this is a 10lb Ham

  1. DPeach says:

    I wished 10 lbs was all I was dealing with. I have gained 15!! since just before Thanksgiving. I have already started whittling it down a pound or two here and there. I am at 26.1 on the BMI.

    You will get there.

  2. Stace says:

    If I ever got down to 170 lbs it would be a miracle! I’d KILL to be that “overweight”

    I just got all caught up with your posts after my Christmas vacation..it sounds like yours went very well and you all had a good time. Happy new year P3!


  3. Oh what a familiar tune is being sung right now! BMI charts SUCK, plainly put. They have Andy as almost obese, and yet somehow he’s still fit enough for the Navy’s standards. Go figure. Bird chest? *chuckle*

  4. Susan says:

    I feel ya, Coach. My ski pants, that I bought four weeks ago, were waaaaaaay tight today. Yuck!

  5. darrell says:

    Easter candy, already!

    Just know that you are definitely not alone in the extra holidya poundage arena. Good luck getting rid of it, Cadbury Eggs be damned.

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