Earlier in December, I had decided that I was going to write a post about Christmas’ past and how what I experienced was related to my Aspergers and what stuff was just “the Holidays”. But instead of being an Oracle and predicting the course of events, I am going to wait and analyze everything afterwards. I want to see how some things play out, both on my part and the part of the relatives that we will be seeing this Christmas time.
I have a couple of Special Interest stuff planned while we are there, so that should (and I say should) keep out actually being depressed as has been the case in year’s past. And we’ll see how my downtime goes. Now that I understand more about myself, and how and why I operate I can better moderate myself and be less of an asshole and more of a smart ass, because let’s face it… I’m much more social when I’m being one of those than when I am being the former.
It also helps that the meds have greatly cut down on my ambient anxiety level. So, right now, I am anxious about our trip but I think that’s more on a level of what someone might deem “normal level” rather than being off the deep end about everything and thus waiting until the last possible minute to do everything, shutting down, becoming a recluse and making everyone’s life miserable. There are procrastinators out there, professional ones, who can wait until the very last moment and be stressed but not have a total physical and mentally collapse. Hopefully, I will be one of those this year, except without the “waiting until the last moment part.”