Tonight our Sunday School class is having our Christmas Social and finally this year we are going to attend. If it wasn’t pregnancy issues (with my wife, not me) or other child watching dilemmas, we would have gone. But now we are going and it should be pretty fun, however, I have a few reservations…
Aspergians are terrible at small talk. Not that you can’t have small talk, but small talk is usually instigated by something that’s pretty well known, or common. Such as “What do you do?”, etc. For Aspergians, if the topic not one of their special interests, it’s hard to stay engaged in the conversation. Now, if a special topic is asked, then WATCH OUT!!! Aspergians on a roll. For example, Running is (obviously) one of my special interests. There are enough people in our Sunday School class that know that I run and can use that to instigate small talk. The most frequent question asked is “Are you training for anything?” This question is one of the worst question a NueroTypical (NT) can ask if they have anything to do for the next 37 minutes.
The results are predictable. If they AREN’T training for anything, then you’ll get the season recap followed by what they are GOING to train for next year. And seeing that next year (like all of our New Year Resolutions) are full of promise, you’re going to get the low down of anticipated races from January to December! If they ARE training for something, that’s probably better, because they can go into minute detail about what is coming up and what they need to do.
“So, you training for anything?”
“Not right now, but I’ll start up a half marathon training January first, with a 10 miler at the end January. This way in mid Febraury, I’ll shoot for my PR time of 1:49 and then focus on my 5k, that’s 3.1 miles, PR time in May. Then over the summer I will start on triathlons for the summer with the intention of completing an Olympic distance triathlon, since it is an Olympic year. I’m planning on a September marathon and then kind see how the rest of the year goes.”
“So, you training for anything?”
“Yeah, I am 3 weeks out from the Disney marathon. I am about to start my taper period where I cut back on my mileage. I’ve been running 30 miles per week for the last 10 weeks and look to have a finish time of just under 4 hours. I’ll be backing down or cutting down my running in preparation for the marathon.”
Now, I do have some self awareness thanks to my diagnosis and clues from My Lovely and Talented Wife as to when to lay low with the whole running stuff. I know that with my running buddies, that I can go a little into detail about what I am doing, how I am doing it and what I want to accomplish. However, others… either NTs or non-runners who are just trying to make small talk, need not be subjected to the onslaught of running information.
“So you training for anything?”
“Not Really. You?”
There’s also going to be a gift exchange. We are supposed to bring something from our house to put in a big pile and we chose a gift or something to that effect. I don’t know… but our gift (if I can find it) is going to be an Elvis Clock that we got as a wedding gift last century. Not only is it traditional Tennessee decor, Elvis’ hips shake back and forth. Careful girls, his hips have been known to cause uncontrollable screaming and feeling of wooziness. Extreme cases, Elvis Hips have caused girls to take unplanned naps. Although never documented, staring at the clock has been known to cause some people to put peanut butter and banana together.
Hopefully something will happen that will be funny that I can blog about, or else I might just have to talk about my running… again.