Consumers UNITE

Are you the type of consumer that when something happens, you just bitch and complain and do nothing. Accepting the fact that big companies don’t care about you and that any changes would never get past the customer service operator at the 800 number on the side of the package. Yeah, me too.

Except on certain occasions. I mean, you mess up something good, that I like, for the worse… I’m going to call you out on it. That’s right McDonalds… your Triple Thick Shake still SUCKS!!!!

Now, I don’t know if anything that I did actually made this happen or perhaps, I was the cause for this transformation… who knows.

Remember a few years ago when the liquid coffee creamers you could get was Bleh and Blah? Yeah, me too… there was some flavored powdered creamer, but if the coffee wasn’t hot enough, the powder would just clump and float around leaving a poor cup of coffee. You’d desperately try to create whirlpool of death in your coffee cup in hopes that you’d suck the creamer beneath the surface, never to be seen again. Making a good cup of coffee was like… work.

Introduce the flavored syrup… AH-HAH a liquid form of calories, uh I mean flavoring to the $400 cup of Starbucks coffee. The problem with flavoring syrup is that there were not too many selections at the grocery store. Sure you could have gone to the coffee shop and for an arm, you could get a gallon of your favorite syrup. (with that extra syrup you could dry it and have some wickedly mad rock candy)  But the flavoring syrup was too complicated. If you poured too little, the creamer (if you used it) would over power and it would taste like poop. If you used to little, your coffee was so hazelnutty that you wanted to gag or run for some insulin.

That was until some marketing genius at the creamer company goes to his boss, with an idea. Here’s a reenactment of what may have transpired at Creamers R US

“Sir, people like creamer and people like flavors. I have a new idea to put flavors in the creamer”

“Really, you think that would work?”

“Sure, with the sales of Starbucks, the coffee boom is going to be good for us, we need to capture it”

“Really, where did you read that?”

“The company’s third quarter forecast, that your secret- uh, you sent out last week”

“Really, you read that?”

“Yeah, I think we could beat our annual forecast with this product. Sales would be high, Investors would be happy.”

“Really, people would go for this flavored creamer”

“Yes, sir”

“I’ve got a wonderful idea! Let’s put creamer in flavorings… it’ll be a hit.”
exclaims the Suit. He picks up the phone and dials his boss. “I just came up with this great idea! We’re going to put creamer in the flavoring… Yes, really… We’ll beat our forecast, I know it… Yes really… Great, I will get Research on it right now.” He hangs up the phone and looks at his employee.

“Thanks Chuck” he exclaims

“It’s Karl”

Then shortly afterward, there were flavored creamers. And those that didn’t like coffee could pour enough creamer to make their coffee palatable. No more did that shot of espresso need 2 quarts of milk.  My Personal Favorite was Southern Butter Pecan and most recently Vanilla Toffee Caramel. Like any good grocery store, they take a national brand and make their own which ends up being cheaper and more more attractive to diaper buying consumers like myself. Of course, we all know that Store Brands are either: relabeled at the manufacturer to have the store logo as opposed to the national logo or 2) Some 8 year old is processing creamer for 42 cents and hour but either way… it’s usually cheaper.  After all, the difference between National and Store brands is about 8 diapers. The variety of  flavors are not as broad with store brands… Where as the national brands have Mocha-Cocha Latte, Cinnamon Vanilla White Chocolate Almond, Fighting Irish Creme, Orange Key Lime Coconut Explosion… store brands have exotic flavors such as Hazelnut and Vanilla.

So when money started getting tighter, I went from the National Brand to the Store Brand… but what I got was this:
Crappy Cap

The cap was such a poor design that the creamer would “drool” over the side and waste good creamer. The lid wouldn’t click on right because creamer would gum it up but it was significantly cheaper since the National Brands saw what a great product they had and jacked up the prices!! Bastards!

So, I sat down and wrote my store brand company and told them about their product. It was a “National Outrage” that this product was like this and that their National Brand colleagues had bottle/spout design that was of the 21st century and did not lend itself to spewing in the refrigerator.

It was so long ago, I don’t even remember their response other than the pleasant, thank you for contacting us, we will chose to ignore your request until other peons complain enough that we might look into changing the process. At least that’s my perception…

All that changed last week when I went into the dairy case to get some creamer and I discovered this in all it’s glory!!!
Cool Cap

No longer creamer all over the side of the container! An easy Flip top… kinda, errrr (“wink wink nudge nudge”, he said knowingly)
Hurray for consumer action!


About planet3rry

Marathoner, A Terry of all trades
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